The Suicide-Savior Game

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lbass
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Post by Guest 2014-08-20, 1:50 pm

The naked black woman was so fat her jelly rolls was a parachute, flying her away from hitting you.


I got hit by a coin flying from the top of the empire state building square in the head.

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Post by Mold 2014-08-21, 4:35 am

the coin is now a kitten, which does not travel through you head as the surface area, multiplied by the velocity and divided by the density of the kitten squared, will cause a large kittexposion on your head, leaving your hair a bloody, furry mess. Yet you will not die.

I'm going to kill myself because of all the fucking kittens on the internet. Shotgun blast to the face.
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Post by apex 2014-08-21, 4:41 am

The shotgun is filled with a semen-like substance and you experience something more of a glory shot rather than suicide.

I find a way to create a lightsaber in real life and cut off my head
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Post by Guest 2014-08-21, 1:06 pm

There is no way to create a lightsaber in real life that isn't just a super high voltage beam of thin light, therefore you cannot die, and a strand of kitten hair was trapped in the hilt, therefore it doesn't even function in the first place.

I wrote my name in the Death Note.

SAVE THAT.

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Post by Przy 2014-08-21, 5:45 pm

I erased your name because you don't write in pen.

A kitten scratches me and I get AIDs.
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Post by apex 2014-08-21, 6:51 pm

The AIDs is made out of kittens

I set up an intricate system of levers pulleys to drop my broken PC on my face from an extraordinary height which causes my head to explode
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Post by Goku 2014-08-21, 6:59 pm

The intricate system of lever pulleys has actually malfunctioned and dropped a bucket of water on you instead.


I jump out of an airplane at the tip of the atmosphere without a parachute naked.
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Post by lbass 2014-08-21, 7:57 pm

Airplanes can't reach those altitudes. You jump out at a safe 20,000 feet and land in a pile of kittens, softening your fall.

I create a device to allow me to travel in a 4th dimension to the Jurassic ages, where I smack a bug on my arm and create a paradox, thus making me disappear from existence.
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Post by Goku 2014-08-21, 8:18 pm

Turns out the bug on your arm was actually a leaf and that you were hallucinating, no harm done.

I go back in time to the medieval ages and try and assassinate the king of a castle on a mountain side, failing to do so I get arrested and am going to be executed in front of the public..with a over sized morning star dropping on my head and crushing it to little bits.
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Post by Guest 2014-08-21, 10:31 pm

The executioner was a scam - he couldn't aim so well therefore he accidentally hit the board which bound your head and also hit your chains, freeing you as he accidentally rebounds it off the ground to his head. You escape within seconds.


I walk across a narrow open alleyway where two motorcycles run straight at me from both sides, with no room for me to move to the side.

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