The Suicide-Savior Game

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Example:

Poster One: I jump into a pool with cement bricks tied to my ankles.

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Poster Two: it was the shallow end.

I cut out my own tongue
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Let me begin:

I go to sleep in a garbage compactor.

The garbage compactor is made of kittens.

I jump off a 50 story building

the building is made of kittens.

I'm smothering my face with a kitten, and i'm allergic to them.

(Technically if the building was made of kittens I would still die from hitting the ground)

The kitten ends up being an ocelot which you are not allergic to but it scratches the shit out of you

Apex wrote:(Technically if the building was made of kittens I would still die from hitting the ground)

The kitten ends up being an ocelot which you are not allergic to but it scratches the shit out of you

plz remember to suicide

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I drink hemlock

The hemlock is made of kittens

I jump into a pool of lava

The fall you take into the pit is only 10 feet, and your vision is really bad, as the lava is actually millions of severed human penises covered in orange highlighter fluid. The dicks soften your fall like a Tempurpedic mattress underneath you.

I endeavor into space, and get sucked into a worm hole.

The worm hole spits you out into Jdoog's mama's house.

I shoot my new recurve bow straight up so that it will land directly on my dome.

Exiting JDooG's Mama's house, I yell "Pull," and trap-shoot the arrow out of the sky with my antique double-barrel Lefever shotgun.

The recoil of firing both barrels made me trip over a rock and begin to plummet to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

The rock is actually a naked black woman who ain't need no man and proceeds to throw you back onto the side of the cliff as she falls down.

A naked black woman who ain't need no man falls from the sky as I'm taking a tour through the Grand Canyon, dooming me to be a pile of brown skin, red, and bone mush.